Fareham Fourth Dimension
Dec 15th, 2011 | By Chris Bell | Category: Short-shorts
(With apologies to the recently departed, in a collision of madness and sadness)
In a fourth dimension somewhere, on a windy day, Jackie Leven is carrying a rustling Somerfield carrier bag towards what appears to be the Fareham Burger Van. The man in the van, the Burger Man, seems to be Russell Hoban. Inexplicably, he is wearing a Sunderland team soccer jersey. He is holding a bottle of bright red, almost radioactive chilli sauce.
“What can I get you?” asks Russ with a broad smile.
“Make me one with everything,” says Jackie, smiling back.
“We already are one with everything, Jackie,” says Russ. “That’s why we’re here.”
Jackie appears to consider this for a moment. “No onions, please.”
“You got it, Big Man.”
Russ, the Burger Man, squeezes a large incandescent blob of the radioactive chilli sauce onto Jackie’s burger. As Jackie takes a bite and begins to walk away in pain (the chilli sauce is way too hot), Russ calls after him: “And don’t forget: the Universe is a three-legged horse!”
~o0o~
